Tuesday, February 23, 2010

recovering a sense of possiblity

A line in chapter 5 -
"We startle ourselves by saying yes instead of no to opportunities."

I must say, I did rather startle myself by accepting new representation - bringing my gallery count to 7. What was I thinking? Especially right now, when I am having a difficult time finding inspiration and struggling to create enough work. It was a leap of faith. I had such a great summer and fall and was really in a rhythm - like a well oiled machine. Then... well we all know that from time to time, other things get in the way and I was derailed for awhile.
Now I am hoping that I will get that groove back and be able to create enough good work for my galleries, for my blog and for a group show, which I also agreed to. Another yes.

Kate too took a big leap which will open up a plethora of new possibilities in both her creative and computer careers.

The idea is to embrace those possibilities, believe that you can live into them and have faith that because you are open to the new, that synchronicity will be your partner and guide the way. I have lived long enough to experience God working to open those other doors when you think all has been shut to you.

I guess I believe deep down that I can and will succeed in getting back on track. My dry spell is not permanent. The flip side it knowing when to say no. And knowing what to cut out. I have long debated about the wedding/live event paintings. Sure, its neat. Its a cool thing for people to watch art being created from life. Its a good exercise for me. BUT... its so hard. Traveling (via air) is the worst. It wreaks havoc at home. Its exhausting. Lonely. And I worry that its a novelty and not really furthering my career. I have been declining any events out of state. I am still doing events that are within driving distance. And I've managed to work fast enough on recent ones to finish at the event so I do not need to continue work at my studio. Obviously, I can't decide if its worth it or not. I could really focus on it, and promote myself and do quite a few events but I don't think this is my time of life for it. Not while I have a young child at home. Now I feel like I am disappointing others! Where is the chapter on guilt?

-- Robin

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