Jealousy

Well here we are into summer now.
I've recently had some mental ups and downs. Went through another week or more of creative blocks. Struggled with a couple paintings that I couldn't figure out and had to mull over them for probably a week. I sometimes feel like my brain is ahead of my hand in its ability to express. Its very frustrating. Almost a feeling of impotence I suppose.

Then I've also had some bouts of that evil green-eyed monster -- jealousy! I wonder if Ms. Cameron addresses this? I will be honest. I haven't picked up the book since Chapter 8 or 9. Definitely found things of merit in those chapters as well and meant to blog about them. I have just been lazy I guess. And have too many things going on. Such is the life of a working mother, right?

But back to jealousy. It can certainly undermine you if you let it. I know its not just me too - I suppose everyone has someone that they feel some competition with. And I suspect that we all keep it a dirty little secret. I, for one, don't want anyone to know my private insanity. ;-)

For me, its someone in a similar place in life, but a whole lot more like King Midas. So their success feels like a failure for me. And I know its totally irrational. We don't even paint the same subjects. Anyway - it turned out to work in my favor two weeks ago when I decided I was going to "show them!" and finally got that painting out of my head and on canvas. I suppose jealousy or competition can be a motivation.

I recall an interesting exhibit at the Kimbell Art Museum (Fort Worth) quite a few years ago - "Picasso & Matisse - A Gentle Rivalry." It focused on the relationship between the two painters and how they sometimes motivated and alternately competed with one another. Its been so long now that I don't remember much of the relationship but now that I am reminded of it, I think I will explore it some more.